Monday, July 28, 2008

Don't die, don't die, don't die.

I see the passionate who killed themselves with drink, Or drugs or speeding cars in order not to think they must have felt like there just nothing was to do
Don't die, don't die, don't die, don't die...There's something wrong here where the best ones want to go.   --Richard Hell.

Looping over and over in my head 
A circular motion    hits   and   beeps
like a pump infusing blood
or a warning in an automobile.

I resisted the urge to turn left into the parking lot of the liquor store today
Instead I spent my whiskey money on sustenance and root beer.
I felt a pang of sadness in my heart, knowing 
the full lips pressed to glass
the sweet sting  my tongue would
the fiery slide my esophagus would miss. 

instead i would like to call you up
ask you how your day is going
invite you over to my place
and tie you up to the tiny bed of my childhood
 until you start crying or coming
whichever satisfies me equally

just as long as I can take some from me
this hate
this drink
I'll cut you instead of me.
this weight
place it on you from 
my chest to your back
you seem so willing.

it was difficult 
it took time
but I resisted just this once

now to multiply it by a lifetime.

1 comment:

whatsherface said...

resisting - why must we fight so hard to resist when we already have so many other obstacles to face? but alas, giving in only means more obstacles, more pain, more anguish. FTW - I'm right there with ya.

- Rhi