Don't die, don't die, don't die.

I see the passionate who killed themselves with drink, Or drugs or speeding cars in order not to think they must have felt like there just nothing was to do

Don't die, don't die, don't die, don't die...There's something wrong here where the best ones want to go.   --Richard Hell.

Looping over and over in my head 

A circular motion    hits   and   beeps

like a pump infusing blood

or a warning in an automobile.

I resisted the urge to turn left into the parking lot of the liquor store today

Instead I spent my whiskey money on sustenance and root beer.

I felt a pang of sadness in my heart, knowing 

the full lips pressed to glass

the sweet sting  my tongue would

the fiery slide my esophagus would miss. 

instead i would like to call you up

ask you how your day is going

invite you over to my place

and tie you up to the tiny bed of my childhood

 until you start crying or coming

whichever satisfies me equally

just as long as I can take some from me

this hate

this drink

I'll cut you instead of me.

this weight

place it on you from 

my chest to your back

you seem so willing.

it was difficult 

it took time

but I resisted just this once

now to multiply it by a lifetime.